I am a bit worried that Roy Keane doesn’t appear to be blossoming into the Best Football Manager in the World. Rather than belittle himself among the bibs and set pieces of Ipswich Town training sessions, I’m starting to wonder if he wouldn’t be better suited to a Captain Ahab/Wolf “Sea Wolf” Larsen role on the high seas, where he can give thousand-yard stares to passing albatrosses and have young sailors keelhauled for daring to leave the deck half-scrubbed.

Keane: a riddle wrapped in an enigma shrouded in a nice woolly fisherman’s jersey.

But if he disappears from public life again, my own life will be over. The only thing I’m hoping is that if he does happen to walk away from Ipswich because the players aren’t good enough,* it will leave him time to come to the climate change summit in Copenhagen. With his skills in diplomacy, tolerance and leg-breaking, Roy could really inject some dynamism into the negotiations.

From the pages of the Independent:

“Roy Keane yesterday launched a savage attack on the Republic of Ireland players island nations and the Irish football establishment the world’s poorest countries for their complaints about Thierry Henry’s handball the West’s refusal to cut carbon dioxide emissions, and told them they were just sympathy-seeking, “mentally weak” hypocrites who should “get over it”.

He could be spared at the Scunthorpe away game on 12 December, surely?

* A good manager blames his tools.

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